


Seeking Balance

by Fai_Gensou



Category: Bleach
Genre: Comfort, M/M, Shinigami/Zanpakutou Bond, Zanpakutou Materialization, masturbation or narcissism?, maybe fluff?, maybe spoiler: Hollow Ichigo is Zangetsu, the sex wrote itself in i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-01-03 12:31:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21179474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fai_Gensou/pseuds/Fai_Gensou
Summary: After getting his power back, Ichigo checks on some things.Apparently it's Hichigo week? And I really need to stop looking at new stories when I have plenty to finish?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach.

_**“Nine hundred ninety one bottles of beer on the wall, nine hundred ninety one bottles of beer…take one down and pass…”**_ Zangetsu let the words trail off. He was starting to annoy _himself_ with his singing, and the whole point of singing was to annoy Ossan.

**_“God I’m so fucking BORED!!!”_** He yelled, the eternal rain swallowing his words.

Rubbing the back of his head (and tangling his hair even more), he let himself flop back onto the skyscraper he was on, arms and legs outspread. **_“Wonder what it’s like to be dry…”_** He mused, half-heartedly tugging the kosode of his shihakushou off his chest, only for it to fall back with a wet splat.

But he was used to it.

And at times like this, when the rain was that much heavier and his mind turned to his whole reason for existence…

…the more he thought he might deserve to never be dry again. **_“Seventeen months of not absorbing all those negative emotions from Ichigo, finally finding that balance between zanpakutou and Hollow…and for what? The only way I know he still exists is because I still exist. I mean, I thought I could reach him with the Fullbring thing—and I was so close—and that Ginjou bastard fuckin’ takes it away. And with that oh so generous ‘gift’ from the Gotei, I think I’m nearly as deep as when he was a baby.”_** He spoke out loud, if only to try and cover up the rain. **_“Hard to say; I wasn’t aware of much then.”_**

And it felt like Ossan had turned up; even if he was kinda a name thief, he still wanted to keep Ichigo safe as much as he did. **_“Don’t get me wrong; there was plenty of genuine gratitude and desire to help when that wave blew by here; but it’s not like they really would have bothered if he wasn’t so useful.”_** He rubbed his face with his hand, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to see the white that he hated down to his bones (or what passed for them). **_“I was made from Shinigami souls; you’d think I’d have come out red.”_** He complained, not for the first time and not for the last time.

_ **“Do you know if he’s even thought about summoning the mask? Or does he just figure that since I was ‘created’ from Urahara’s method and those powers went bye-bye, I went away too? It’s not like, y’know, they’d actually tell him anything until they have no choice. Even though it concerns him, but no…Goat-Bastard didn’t even have the balls to actually tell him even after my seal broke and his power came back. Just—popped up in the middle of Aizen’s reveal so as to not to give him the satisfaction of doing so. If King wasn’t so blinded by his own reiatsu, he’d never have pulled it off.** _

_**“He deserves to know about Masaki-san. Are you gonna tell him before the point of no return? Probably not…that’d mean explaining the truth. Not like he’d believe me, if I ever see him again.”**_ He sat back up. _**“Why are you here anyway? I stopped singing. Shouldn’t you be with Ichigo? I mean, he **_**likes**_** you…Are you gonna answ—“**_ Turning his head as he spoke, everything froze when it was the stunned face of his…everything…that greeted him.

Fuck.

* * *

Ichigo cleaned up his few dishes. It was Saturday night, four days since he got his power back, and he had the house to himself. His sisters were at a study sleepover, and his dad had gone to a medical conference.

A real one that he’d been stressing over for weeks, not his excuse to put in a day’s training at Urahara’s.

As relieved as he was that his friends and family weren’t suffering any ill effects from Tsukishima’s power, and as much as he enjoyed feeling their reiatsu, he’d begged off from seeing people tonight and tomorrow.

He was going to his Inner World, to see Zangetsu…_both_ of them, if his suspicions were right.

Quickly changing into sleep clothes, he got comfortable on his bed, before closing his eyes, slipping easily into Jinzen.

His Inner World didn’t appear to have suffered much lasting damage from the Final Getsuga Tenshou, even if there were signs of recently receded flood waters. Zangetsu-Ossan was nowhere in sight. “Ossan?” He called.

It wasn’t…surprising that the spirit wasn’t around; the spirit was likely still hurting from his choice, but it did hurt a little.

Unless it was a cryptic training thing.

“I wonder how big this place is…?” He wondered, beginning a slow walk, just taking the time to take in his Inner World.

“I see what they meant about needing greenery…” He noted five buildings later. “Wonder how I can change that. I know my mood makes it rain in here, but can I change something like the scenery?”

Shrugging, he paused at the base of the building he was currently on. Unlike the other buildings, the main doors were open, revealing darkness.

Laying down on the building and peering in, Ichigo couldn’t see anything beyond the darkness. With a firm nod, he stood, and hopped in…

…only to stumble out a different set of doors. It looked like his Inner World, but the colors were harsh and alien. And it was raining. “Why’s it raining…?” He mumbled as he walked further in.

** _“…fucking BORED!!!”_ **

He knew that voice. As he drew near the white figure of his Inner Hollow, he watched him flop on the building, limbs spread. _**“Wonder what it’s like to be dry…”** _The hollow wondered, picking at the soaking kosode.

Just how long had he been in this alien, rainy corner of his Inner World? Since the Final Getsuga Tenshou? Since he clamped down on him after the fight with Ulquiorra?

…since he lost the fight for control?

_ **“Seventeen months of not absorbing all those negative emotions from Ichigo, finally finding that balance between zanpakutou and Hollow—“** _

What. The. Fuck. He hadn’t expected to hear confirmation of his suspicions from the horse’s mouth (so to speak).

_ **“…and for what? The only way I know he still exists is because I still exist. I mean, I thought I could reach him with the Fullbring thing—and I was so close—and that Ginjou bastard fuckin’ takes it away. And with that oh so generous ‘gift’ from the Gotei, I think I’m nearly as deep as when he was a baby. Hard to say; I wasn’t aware of much then.”** _

The possibility of hearing at least this spirit had crossed his mind, but Ginjou’s plan had moved forward before he could even try reaching out.

_**“Don’t get me wrong; there was plenty of genuine gratitude and desire to help when that wave blew by here; but it’s not like they really would have bothered if he wasn’t so useful.”** _He rubbed his face with his hand, and Ichigo was sure that if his zanpakutou knew it was him behind him, and not Ossan, he wouldn’t be so candid. _**“I was made from Shinigami souls; you’d think I’d have come out red.”**_ He said, in a way that said this was a long-standing complaint.

But his comment about being ‘made’ was troubling.

What was he thinking? It’d be more surprising if Aizen didn’t have a hand in his situation in some fashion.

_**“Do you know if he’s even thought about summoning the mask? Or does he just figure that since I was ‘created’ from Urahara’s method and those powers went bye-bye, I went away too? It’s not like, y’know, they’d actually tell him anything until they have no choice. Even though it concerns him, but no…Goat-Bastard didn’t even have the balls to actually tell him even after my seal broke and his power came back. Just—popped up in the middle of Aizen’s reveal so as to not to give him the satisfaction of doing so. If King wasn’t so blinded by his own reiatsu, he’d never have pulled it off.”**_ (White) Zangetsu did have a point, but he was also so used to his father being invisible to the little reiatsu sensing ability he had that he never thought to check.

**_“He deserves to know about Masaki-san._ **(Okay, that’s more respect than he thought the spirit had for anyone) _**Are you gonna tell him before the point of no return? Probably not…that’d mean explaining the truth. Not like he’d believe me, if I ever see him again.”**_

Something twisted in Ichigo’s heart at how…matter-of-fact he said this. Even though it was phrased as ‘maybe’, the tone clearly indicated just how likely he thought that outcome. Zangetsu sat back up. _**“Why are you here anyway? I stopped singing. **_(_Dear God_)_ **Shouldn’t you be with Ichigo? I mean, he likes you…Are you gonna answ—“**_

Ichigo was sure that if he could have done so, he’d have turned white. As it was, he managed an ashen, pale blue. “How long has it been raining here?” Ichigo asked, stopping just outside sword range.

His sword range; Zangetsu’s blade was nowhere in sight.

**_“…since you got the hole in your chest.”_** Zangetsu answered, looking at Ichigo like he didn’t quite understand why he was there.

Damnit, Ichigo had been hoping that wasn’t the case. Scowling, Ichigo quickly made up his mind. Flashing over, he quickly hauled the spirit over his shoulder in a firemen’s carry.

Now Ichigo didn’t know how to purposely summon his zanpakutou spirit in the ‘real’ world. But he’s always done best when given a goal. So tightening his grip, he stepped forward, and pulled—

And he was back in his room, in his body, standing with a soaked zanpakutou spirit/hollow on his shoulder.

A soaked spirit who immediately started shivering. _**“What ar—put me—“**_ He cut off into a burst of sneezing. _**“Family?”**_

“Not home. Otherwise you’d get to enjoy Yuzu mood swings.” On that note, Ichigo left his room for the bathroom, scowling more as Zangetsu shivered more. “Did you not notice how it was freezing?! But since I have no clue how to change things in there, here we are.”

Ichigo might have placed him down on the stool more gently than he may have otherwise, but the Hollow who’d terrified him looked and felt more like a half-drowned cat. _**“Not my fault all your bad rain memories have cold rain…”**_ He grumbled, starting the fight to get his arms out of his sleeves.

Moving to start the water, Ichigo then stripped, crouching down to take advantage of the spirit’s comparative mellowness to get the waraji and tabi off. “Does it matter if this gets cut?” He asked, frowning.

Looking up, he just caught Zangetsu’s eyes darting away from where they had apparently been focused on his groin area. _Huh, surprisingly the idea doesn’t bother me…but would it be masturbation or narcissism?_

**_“’snot real, like out here. Just part o’ the image.”_** Casually snapping the chain his sword would attach to, he shoved his arms through the gap of the kosode, suddenly pricklier than a porcupine.

There were tan marks on his chest, dominated by the tan circle in the exact spot Ichigo knew Ulquiorra had blown the hole in his chest. “What…” Slowly, he reached out and traced the edge where white and tan met.

Zangetsu flinched, before forcing himself to stay still. _**“Side effect of using my regeneration. I get the scars. Haven’t you noticed? Even the ones on your living body.”**_ He explained shortly, as Ichigo dug out the scissors Yuzu usually cut his and his dad’s hair with.

“…actually, I had thought I just couldn’t see or feel them anymore since they’d been created with reiryoku…” Ichigo admitted, snipping the straps of the waraji as Zangetsu glared and swore at his sash. “What do you mean by ‘the image’?”

_**“People interact better with faces they can relate to. Technically, I’m just a humanoid blob of reiryoku with a consciousness and a voice.”**_ He gave up on the sash, letting Ichigo cut it. _**“So you haul me out of the rain to stick me in the shower?”**_ He questioned as he stood, shoving the hakama off with the kosode.

“Hot water. Or do instincts not like a hot shower?” Ichigo asked as he eyed the spirit as he staggered into the shower. _So he’s reacting to being out the cold like a physical human would…_ He thought, digging out a comb.

* * *

Zangetsu didn’t know what was up with his King, but was glad Ichigo wasn’t looking his way as he gratefully fell down onto the low shower stool. _**When was the last time I stood up? There wasn’t a point; nowhere to go, no way out, and Ossan always disappeared when I tried picking fights.**_ His whole body was tingling with pinpricks of sensation, as it processed that he really was cold.

Checking the water, Ichigo quickly glanced at him as he switched on the shower head. **_“Shit!”_ **Zangetsu swore, the initial contact burning hot.

“Give it a sec.” Ichigo commented, and Zangetsu couldn’t help how he tensed when Ichigo went behind him. “Relax; I think I’ve seen actual tangles of string with less knots than your hair.”

**_“Bit hard with the yanking.”_** Zangetsu complained, trying to focus on how amazing the hot water felt as he got used to it.

And not how the yanks made his groin pulse.

_**“…how much did you hear?”**_ He asked after several minutes of enduring Ichigo wrestle his hair out of its knots.

“Since you shouted that you were bored.” Ichigo replied.

Zangetsu closed his eyes and swallowed hard. _Fuck…he heard all of that…_

“Y’know, not having to frantically train for something that could kill me with a blink…I had time to think…and realize some things.” Ichigo opened, the yanks feeling less like yanks and more like tugs. “Like how the only time Ossan actually fought me was during Bankai training. Every other time, if it was learn or die…he called you. And how the only time he saved me, after a fashion, was to keep me from bleeding out during the fight with Kenpachi.”

Ichigo leaned forward, resting his chin on his shoulder as his chest made contact with his back. “Zangetsu.”

Zangetsu couldn’t ignore the thrill that went through him as his wielder addressed him by name. Finally. “Would it bother you if I said that I don’t think he was lying when he said he was Zangetsu? If I feel that both of you are Zangetsu?” Ichigo asked, cautiously.

_**“He’s as much a part of your power as I am.”**_ Zangetsu agreed, turning his head a little to look at Ichigo’s face. **_“And he did—does—want to protect you.”_**

“Does it relate to whatever it is about Mom that I don’t know?” He asked.

**_“…yeah, it does.”_** Zangetsu answered as Ichigo pulled back to return to combing his hair, trying not to lean back after his body heat. _**“Do you want to hear all of that from me? Or do you wanna wait until Hat’n’Clogs and Goat Bastard tell you?”**_

“Can’t you just tell me and then we can go beat them up together?” Ichigo countered, setting the comb aside.

**_“’We’?”_ **Zangetsu repeated, a little stunned.

“There’s a reason why Ossan was the one I saw first, and I bet it has to do with them.” Ichigo elaborated, before running a finger down his left bicep. “What’s this?”

Zangetsu looked, his eyes taking a minute to pick out what Ichigo was referring to. **_“Probably from the reishi strings. They always burned more the closer Goat Bastard was to you physically.”_** He replied, his eyes picking out more faint, gray lines, the color of fine ash.

There was a spike of…something…as Ichigo’s mouth and eyes tightened, and with a start Zangetsu realized he was actually feeling Ichigo, beyond a basic ‘fine/hurt/dying’ sense. “You probably should start at the beginning.” Ichigo said calmly, even though they both knew what he said wasn’t a suggestion.

Zangetsu sighed. **_“Like just about everything fucked up in the last century or two, it starts with Aizen.”_** He started, shivering a bit as Ichigo’s fingers traced the gray lines.

“Of course it does.”

** _“Anyway, with his magic rock, he made an Arrancar out of nothing but Shinigami souls. Incidentally, that’s also what the asauchi are made of.”_ **

“Wait, the Shinigami afterlife is to end up as someone’s zanpakutou?!” Ichigo exclaimed.

_**“Don’t worry; for asauchi the part of the soul that constitutes ‘you’, like your memories and consciousness, still enters the reincarnation cycle.”**_ Zangetsu assured him. **_“He messed around to get it so it could ‘infect’ a Shinigami and take over their zanpakutou. And being all black save for the mask, it was called White.”_**

“For real?” Ichigo asked flatly.

**_“The blind guy said it should be called ‘White’ since it was made from Shinigami souls, and thus was ‘pure’.”_** Zangetsu rolled his eyes. **_“So Aizen and company let it loose in Naruki City. Where its activities caught the eye of a certain Shinigami captain.”_**

“…you mean Dad.” Ichigo’s fingers tightened on his bicep briefly. “No one in Soul Society recognized the name ‘Kurosaki’…”

_**“Because his name then was Shiba Isshin, Captain of the Tenth Division.”** _Zangetsu smirked, feeling something of his old glee as he felt Ichigo’s growing horror._** “So you and Ganju are related.”**_

“As bad as that is, I’m more scared of Kukaku and Karin meeting. Karin’s been banned from cooking in Home Ec class after a semester of making dishes that explode. Without the stove involved. The destruction possible…” Ichigo shuddered. “So, Dad looks for White, and they fight?”

**_“Pretty much. He was gonna go into Bankai, but Aizen darted in and injured him. He had gotten a hold of one of Hat’n’Clogs inventions, a coat that hides reiatsu. And onto the scene enters Kurosaki Masaki…a pureblood Quincy.”_** Zangetsu waited for the reaction.

“Oh I have GOT to taunt Ishida about that.” Ichigo smirked. “I take it pureblood means what I think it does?”

_ **“Yep; her family’s been Quincy for forever, so she was supposed to marry Arrow-idiot’s dad, another pureblood Quincy. What happened next kept that from happening.” **_Zangetsu continued before Ichigo could freak out much over that news. _**“It moved too fast for her to hit, but Quincy have a technique, Blut Vene, where reishi is channeled through the blood vessels to create inhuman durability. So answer to the problem was let it bite her, then go for a head shot. White self-destructs, and Goat Bastard pushes her out of the way of that blast. But the damage was done; White only self-destructed because it had ‘infected’ her. Except there’s a reason that Quincy techniques destroy Hollows.”** _

“A lethal reason, no doubt.” Ichigo commented.

_**“Beyond lethal. Quincy souls have no defense to Hollow energy and their souls self-destruct--Soul Suicide, with no chance of turning into a Hollow. In steps Hat’n’Clogs with a solution: using Reishi strings to tie a Shinigami’s power to her soul, suppressing the Hollow and stopping the Soul Suicide. The process is sealed by a special gigai that effectively rendered the Shinigami into a normal, spirit-blind human until the Hollow left her or she died. Being an idiot, Goat Bastard agrees. He starts up a clinic, they date and marry, then came you.”**_ Zangetsu took a deep breath, bracing for the next part.

“Clearly not the end, since I KNOW Dad didn’t get his powers back that long ago.” Ichigo prodded.

_**“…while White was meant to Hollowify Shinigami, it could also fuse with a person’s latent Shinigami power, becoming their zanpakutou. So…when you were conceived, and once your soul entered your fetus…White moved house. But that was all he could do.” **_Zangetsu couldn’t stop how his shoulders rose up._** “Even though it fused with your latent Shinigami power, that didn’t change how it was still a Hollow, and so was still bound by the reishi strings, despite not being in Masaki-san anymore. I…”**_ He let out a frustrated sigh. **_“You heard the part about me getting my head straight on being a zanpakutou and a Hollow. Before the Shattered Shaft thing, I wasn’t anywhere near ‘conscious’ in terms of a personality. About the only thing ‘I’ got of the outside was your negative emotions. Needless to say, that part got worse after Masaki-san died. So I fed on that, and grew more ‘aware’ as you fought in Soul Society, but it was the fight with the cherry blossom idiot that truly ‘woke’ me up.”_**

“No wonder you told him that you didn’t have a name.” Ichigo commented, mostly to himself.

_**“I couldn’t have told you WHAT I was, let alone a name. By the time you were trainin’ with the Visored, while I knew I was Zangetsu, you were terrified of me, and I’d decided that since you were doin’ a piss-poor job of keepin’ yourself alive, the way to keep both of us alive was to take the driver’s seat.”**_ Zangetsu glared at the tile in front of him as Ichigo moved to get something.

“I wasn’t that terrified.” Ichigo protested.

Zangetsu looked over his shoulder. **_“Keyed to your negative emotions, remember? I felt the terror, be pissed off that you were missing the point, only leading to more terror…feedback loop.”_**

He could feel the rising irritation in Ichigo, ready to start that argument up again, but with a scowl, he forced it aside. “How about we just agree that neither of us was right, and move on?”

Not all that eager himself to pick up that argument, Zangetsu rolled his eyes and said, _**“Fine.”**_

Turning back around, he muttered, **_“I’m still right.”_**

“Shut up.” Ichigo retorted, starting to wash his hair.

…and **_holy shit_** Zangetsu didn’t realize how good that could feel. The tension left his shoulders, even as he blindly pressed the heel of his hand against his groin.

* * *

Ichigo wasn’t blind to the spirit’s reaction. “So instincts are defeated by hair washing.” He smirked, Zangetsu practically melting against him, even as he squirmed and began caressing his dick.

Craning his head back, Zangetsu tried glaring at his King, but it had a different kind of heat. **_“Why did you haul me out here, heika?”_** He asked, and really, using ‘heika’ shouldn’t have sounded as hot as it did._** “Weren’t you lookin’ for Ossan?”**_

“I went in looking for both of you. Hauling you out here was me blindly leaping in like always.” Holding his gaze, Ichigo deliberately slid a hand down Zangetsu’s torso, joining the spirit’s in its caressing.

And _shit_, he really hadn’t considered his own reaction. Somehow, he shoved the stool away without any horrible mishaps, pressing as close to Zangetsu as he could. “What are we doing?” He asked, his other hand tracing one of the tan marks that reflected one of the scars Ichigo should have.

**_“…aren’t ya inspectin’ your blade? Makin’ sure everything’s in workin’ order?”_ **It had taken a moment for Zangetsu to reply, and he’d only done so after Ichigo had stopped tracing one of the tan marks.

“More sensitive?” Ichigo questioned, before smirking.

Zangetsu caught a touch of…wicked intent just as Ichigo ran a nail along the edge of the circle, just inside where the white stopped and the tan began. **_“Holy shit--!”_** The hand that wasn’t fondling himself came up and grabbed Ichigo’s head, holding it down over his shoulder. It took a moment to find the words. **_“Thought you’re a blushin’ virgin.”_** He complained/noted, giving up on coordinating his hand with Ichigo’s and digging his fingers into orange hair with a muffled curse from Ichigo. **“Heika.”**

Ichigo ground against Zangetsu, his dick finding a home in the cleft of his ass. “One, I have sisters, and two, I have an idiot father who not only is incapable of defining ‘privacy’, tried to give me ‘helpful tips to solo entertainment.’”

**_“He fuckin’ didn’t…_**” Zangetsu breathed out, pressing back against that burning heat.

“He had to replace the clinic’s windows after I tossed him through ‘em. Really, I shoulda realized he might not be a regular human after all the times he’s gone through my second floor window.” Ichigo ran his tongue along the pulse point. “And finally…I haven’t decided if this is weird masturbation or some version of narcissism.”

Zangetsu would have laughed, but Ichigo decided to see how he reacted to teeth on his pulse point. **_“…fuck…”_** He managed, trying to squirm as much as he could against Ichigo’s dick. _**“Stop…and yer dead…”**_

Ichigo just grazed the head of his dick with a fingernail, and Zangetsu nearly pulled out his hair as he came. The sight of his white doppelganger in orgasm probably shouldn’t have been as erotic as it was, but it and how Zangetsu was moving against his dick was enough.

“…I have shampoo in my eyes.” Ichigo complained, pulling away to rinse said shampoo.

**_“Your own fault.”_** Zangetsu pointed out, reaching for the regular soap. **_“Getting distracted.”_**

“Like I knew you’d react like that to getting your hair washed.” Ichigo retorted, dumping a small bucket of water on Zangetsu’s head, laughing a little as his zanpakutou spirit swore and glared at him. “You still look like a half-drowned cat.”

_ **“Then shouldn’t we hurry up before the hot water runs out and I go back to being a cold half-drowned cat?”** _

* * *

“Comfy?” Ichigo asked with raised eyebrow, taking in the naked spirit who looked nearly as blissed out as when he was washing his hair. “It’s even better if you get under the covers and give me room to get in.”

**_“Shut up; ya saw in there. Even if there was something like this it’d be waterlogged.”_** Zangetsu grumbled, but did as suggested.

Some flailing limbs and near misses with elbows and knees later, the pair were on their sides facing each other. “Hearing it was Oyaji’s power suppressing you…I always had this sense that he was keeping something from me. Something that was mine.” Ichigo reflected. “And it bugged me, because I couldn’t put it into words or figure out the what or the how of it…”

Zangetsu hummed, half-asleep and truthfully feeling better than he could ever recall being, even in the fragments left over from the Shinigami used to make White. Just knowing Ichigo knew who he really was and wasn’t terrified would have been enough, but…**_ “This isn’t one-off?”_ **He asked, too tired to try sounding casual about it.

“I definitely need to figure out how to change things in my Inner World, cuz I have no idea when I’ll get the house to myself again.” Ichigo vowed. “Maybe if I can decide what to study in college and get into a school just far enough away for me to need to get a place to myself…” A shrug in his voice, his hand found one of Zangetsu’s, interlacing the fingers. “And why would it be one-off? I thought blades required regular care and attention?”

**_“True…”_** Zangetsu opened an eye with a glare, after Ichigo gave him the reiatsu version of a poke. **_“?”_**

“Me falling asleep isn’t gonna make you go back, is it?” He asked.

_**“Technically speaking, zanpakutou spirits can manifest whenever they feel like, so long as their Shinigami has enough power. In practice…apparently it’s not the way things are done.”**_ The eye roll he was too tired to do was in his voice. **_“So no, I’ll be here in the morning.”_**

“Good. In the morning we can hunt down Ossan.” Ichigo declared, finally taking the not so subtle hint from Zangetsu and shutting up.

* * *

Later that night, when the pair both deeply asleep, Ossan formed next to the pair in Ichigo’s room. He couldn’t stop his relieved sigh as he studied their reiatsu.** “I’m glad my gamble paid off…”** He whispered.

Even though the pair may have decided that he was just as much Zangetsu as the Inner Hollow, the hard truth was that Ichigo could survive without him.

He could not survive without Zangetsu. And even though his power being restored stopped the slow disintegration of his soul, actually bonding with his ‘true’ Zanpakutou was the only way to heal it.

Closing his eyes, he let his wispy form in the Living World disperse, returning to his perch in Ichigo’s Inner World.

* * *

_Three Days Later…_

Isshin and Urahara traded worried looks. Ichigo had asked to meet both of them in Urahara’s training lair, and they had no idea why.

And he was taking his sweet time arriving.

Finally Ichigo arrived. Crossing his arms, he said nearly the last thing either expected. “So when, exactly, were you going to tell me that my ‘Inner Hollow’ was not a product of my near-miss in the Shattered Shaft?”

With the sense of something that can only be called a _twist_, Ichigo’s doppelganger in white appeared. _**“If you were thinking I wouldn’t remember, you’re really, really wrong.”**_ He informed them.

With his familiar slasher grin, he grabbed his sword. _**“You have until three to start running, Hat’n’Clogs.”**_

“Now, wait—“

**_“THREE!!!_**” Urahara disappeared into shunpo, with Zangetsu on his heels in sonido.

Isshin eyed his son, knowing that this would be an actual spar/fight, not their morning exchange. Ichigo drew his sword. “Can I ask when Mom being a Quincy was supposed to come up? And not just on my end; Ishida _flipped_ when I told him we’re cousins…”


	2. Chapter 2

Zangetsu slowly awoke, laying on something comfortable, warm and surrounded by his wielder’s reiatsu. And not just his reiatsu; his scent and his limbs were tangled with his’, one thigh between his legs against his groin.

The best part was that it wasn’t a dream. Cracking his eyes open, he saw Ichigo’s face almost touching his’, relaxed in a way Zangetsu never thought he’d get to see. Not after the disaster that were their interactions before.

Shifting, the friction of his groin against the thigh between his legs sent sparks up his spine, spreading warmth inside. _**What is this, exactly? I’m pretty sure hauling your zanpakutou spirit out for a shower, some ‘fun’, and a good night’s sleep isn’t typical.**_

_ **Meh. Screw typical.** _

Recognizing the burning heat growing firmer against his thigh, he moved his leg against his King’s dick, moving himself against Ichigo’s thigh with the same motion.

Suddenly Ichigo was kissing him, not having much clue what to do. Which was fine, since Zangetsu didn’t have much clue either, beyond wanting to taste. Parting his lips, his tongue encountered Ichigo’s, who apparently had the same idea. Their tongues exploring each other, Ichigo pressed into him, closing the minimal distance between them and skin-on-skin contact was amazing.

Especially when their dicks came in contact, pushing the warmth inside higher, into a fire. Air was becoming a problem, but they could barely pull apart enough to pant some air before joining lips again. Ichigo groaned when Zangetsu wrapped their dicks in his hand, sword calluses a perfect contrast of friction to the pre-come letting them move smoothly against each other. Zangetsu eased back from the kiss, just enough to keep Ichigo’s lower lip between his. After a half-second’s thought, he bit down, generating a muffled curse even as fingers found one of his own nipples and pinched.

He debated pinching back, but then Ichigo turned the tables and bit Zangetsu’s own lip hard as the nipple that hadn’t been pinched was twisted. Moaning, Zangetsu tightened his grip as he felt something coiling in his belly. He was determined to make his wielder come first this time, so moving his hand, he drew a nail along the vein on the underside of Ichigo’s dick.

He was sure Ichigo bit down hard enough to draw blood as he came, and the sharp pain with feeling his orgasm tipped him over too. Opening eyes that he hadn’t realized he’d closed, the trace of blood on Ichigo’s lip was too tempting, and he licked it away. “Mornin’.” Ichigo said.

“_**Morning.**_” Zangetsu replied. The…weirdness…of the situation suddenly hit him, and he couldn’t stop his giggle (and couldn’t be bothered to not call it a giggle).

“What?” Ichigo asked, amused.

“_**Just—not what I had ever imagined, twenty four hours ago.**_” Zangetsu admitted. “_**Or at any point before it happened.**_”

“Me neither.” Ichigo agreed, shivering a little as Zangetsu ran a mostly-dry hand up his side.

Frowning a little, Zangetsu pushed the covers aside, baring both of them. “_**You should eat more.**_” He commented, his eyes agreeing with what he felt about how Ichigo’s ribs were a little too prominent for his liking.

Now that he was taking his time to study Ichigo’s naked body, his frown deepened as it struck him that all over, Ichigo was a touch too thin. “Haven’t really been as hungry, until a few days ago.” Ichigo admitted, before poking Zangetsu’s side. “So do you.”

Looking down, Zangetsu saw he was right. “_**Well, once you eat more, my appearance will reflect that. My default appearance is as your twin, so…**_”

“Why is that?”

“_**Not a clue. Beyond maybe because I’m your Inner Hollow as well as your zanpakutou. Like your evil twin.**_” Zangetsu shrugged. “When do you want to go back and look for Ossan?”

“Lemme get some clothes back on first, in case Yuzu and Karin come back…” Reaching down to where he’d dropped his pajamas on the floor next to the bed, Ichigo didn’t bother getting up to get dressed.

* * *

They reappeared in the spot Ichigo had hauled them out from, but the rain had lightened up to a drizzle. “_**How DID you find me anyway?**_” Zangetsu asked.

“I was exploring, since I’ve never taken the time to do that. One building had the main doors open, and jumping through put me out in here.” Grabbing his zanpakutou’s hand, he flashed them over to the dark doors he had come through the night before.

Now that he was looking at them from this angle, it seemed like the doors had been blown inward. “You said there was a wave when Rukia stabbed me? Again.” Ichigo asked.

“_**Yeah. And I would swear that these doors weren’t always here. I’ve been bored enough and desperate enough to examine every inch of this place.**_” Zangetsu remarked, eyeing the blackness beyond the doors.

“Maybe not on this side, since I had been frantic to not let you out.” A thought crossing his mind, Ichigo let go of Zangetsu’s hand.

“_**…I still see them.**_” Zangetsu reported. “_**Maybe because you know I’m your zanpakutou now, not just your inner Hollow?**_”

Ichigo shrugged. “Either way, even though it felt otherwise, it would make sense if getting my power back would open up access.”

“_**True…**_” Grabbing Ichigo’s hand again, Zangetsu dragged him along through the doors…

…only to leap out of the building the doors were set in. “I’ve never seen the sky look like this before…” Ichigo breathed, looking up.

“_**Me either…**_” Instead of sunny blue skies with white clouds, the sky of Ichigo’s Inner World had shifted, one end (nominally ‘east’) the familiar blue skies and fluffy clouds, fading through a brilliant, technicolor twilight in reds and purples into a clear night sky, full of stars that one couldn’t see with the light pollution of Karakura, with a full moon.

As the pair watched, the colors in the twilight section shifted. “_**It’s not greenery, but it does make things more interesting in here.**_” Zangetsu declared.

“**The pair of you are closer to a true balance.**”

Turning, there was Ossan, for once not on his trusty flagpole. “**The simple and hard truth is that you cannot survive without him, Ichigo. No matter how I had tried to replace him at the center of your power.**” He explained.

“So if Zangetsu is the Shinigami and Hollow parts, then…you’d be whatever Quincy power I inherited from Mom?” Ichigo asked.

Ossan nodded. “**Can I ask why you tried to do that? Beyond there simply being an opening from Zangetsu being sealed by Oyaji’s power?**” Ichigo prodded, his hand tightening on Zangetsu’s.

Ossan was quiet for a long moment. “**All Quincy today, for there are more than just the Ishida pair and you and your sisters, are descended from a single man. Yhwach, the Quincy King. Every Quincy is born with a piece of his soul, which returns to him upon that Quincy’s death, even untrained ones. Ultimately, that is whose image I reflect. I tried to replace him at the center of your power, and suppress your potential, since I did not want you to become a Shinigami. While he came to the decision to protect you by fighting for you, I did not want you to fight at all. I wanted to keep you from all the suffering, all the pain I knew would dog your footsteps if you followed that path. A path that would lead you to onto a battlefield with ‘him’ on it. Where, I thought, I would have to kill you**.”

“But it’s not like me to turn away from a fight, especially if my friends and family are in danger.” Ichigo reminded him.

“**As I discovered, watching your perseverance and your willpower. And so, I began helping you.**” Ossan agreed. “**At first, I will admit to taking some measure of solace in your actions to defeat Aizen, even with my anger at your choice. Powerless, there was no chance of you drawing Yhwach’s attention. Until I noticed something.**”

Pointing at the edge of the building, he drew Ichigo and Zangetsu’s attention to how the edge was weathered and cracked. “**Your soul had started to disintegrate, without your power.**”

Ichigo went white. “What?” He whispered, Zangetsu looking equally horrified. Kneeling down, his fingers felt the worn edge. “…nothing felt right, these last seventeen months. I thought I was just having trouble getting used to being powerless. I…even when I was away from everyone that I had to pretend to be alright to and was sulking…” Zangetsu and Ossan knew he was shaken up, if he was willing to flat out admit to sulking.

Standing, Ichigo looked back at Ossan. “Did Urahara-san and Goat Face know? Suspect?”

“**Not beforehand, I’m certain. Afterwards? More than likely. I do not know if he would have communicated those findings to Seireitei when he went with the sword he’d made.**” Ossan replied, answering the unspoken question Ichigo had. “**Restoring your power; rather, your access to it, that only stopped the disintegration. But…**”

Ossan looked visibly saddened. “**It can only properly repair itself if you have a close bond to your zanpakutou. Your true zanpakutou. That is why I was not visible last night; you would not have much cause to seek him out if I was present. No matter if you decide I am as much your zanpakutou as he is.**”

Quiet fell over the trio. Nodding to himself, Zangetsu walked over to stand in front of Ossan. “**_I don’t especially like you._**” He started off bluntly. “_**I don’t agree with trying to keep Ichigo weak because of one guy, no matter how strong he is. Not when that doesn’t mean there won’t be others targeting him, like the Ginjou bastard proved. But, even if you are kind of a name thief, I probably wasn’t in a good place mentally to have functioned as his zanpakutou properly, when I was first unsealed. So I do thank you for that.**_”

To Ossan’s shock, Zangetsu bowed. Not deeply, but it was more than he expected ever to get. “_**So, are you gonna stick around and help me keep him in line?**_” He asked.

“Oi.” Ichigo protested, without much heat. “More like you need help staying in line.”

“**I will stay as long as you will have me.**” Ossan…Zangetsu-Ossan agreed.

“After the past seventeen months, did you really think I’m going to let either of you go again?” Ichigo reminded him. “So is there any Quincy techniques I can use?”

“**There is one.**” Pushing his sleeve up, Zangetsu-Ossan’s arm glowed with blue lines. “**Blut Vene. It grants inhuman durability, and, given your mother’s mastery of it, it should not take much for you to master it.**” He explained.

“…do you know if she still had her power, after White was sealed in her soul?” Ichigo asked carefully, shoving his own sleeve up as he felt his arm tingle, seeing faint blue lines, much like the ones on Zangetsu-Ossan.

“**On that day…**” Zangetsu-Ossan paused, taking a minute to decide how to phrase things. “**Yhwach has a technique that lets him forcibly recall the pieces of his soul. Which he did, from all Quincy of mixed heritage and those he deemed ‘tainted’. One he happened to use at the moment Masaki faced Grand Fisher, protecting you. Only the fact that you and your sisters are untrained as Quincy kept me and the soul pieces inside of them from being caught up in the call**.”

Ichigo turned away, curling in on himself slightly. “…I know I told Dad that I’d wait for him to tell me what happened, with him and Mom…but he should have told me that. All those times he tried telling me it wasn’t my fault…”

Zangetsu hugged Ichigo from behind, feeling the tension in his whole body. “I’m telling my sisters, when they get home.” Ichigo declared. “I don’t know if Mom would have told all of us about being Quincy at some point, but I’m not going to keep this from them anymore.”

Zangetsu and Zangetsu-Ossan nodded in agreement.

* * *

Ishida stared blankly at Ichigo, stuck on what he had just said. He didn’t notice when Mizuiro pulled out his phone to time how long he would be dazed, or how Keigo was stealing pieces of his lunch, or that the piece he’d been about to eat had fallen from his chopsticks. “…did you say what I think you just said?” He finally said after seven minutes.

“That my mom was a Quincy and we’re cousins? Yes, yes I did.” Ichigo confirmed, pulling out the Zip-Loc bag he had placed a few of the things he’d retrieved from his mom’s belongings.

Telling Yuzu and Karin had been…interesting. He started by asking how much they knew about what he’d been up to as a Shinigami. While he wasn’t surprised by what Karin knew (or that she’d been going to Urahara’s), he was surprised that Yuzu knew what she did, which was a lot more than he thought she might now. He focused on the things about Masaki he’d learned, backed up with a dusty box from his parents’ closet (shoved in one dark corner) that had the few Quincy things she did have, such as focus charms, a couple books, a few pictures, and a family tree, their names added on at the bottom.

He only had mild regrets when Yuzu started plotting ‘revenge’ on their father for his silence, especially after Ichigo implied that Isshin had his own spirit heritage. Very mild, no matter how disturbingly creative she was getting in the planning.

Alright, he had freaked out but wasn’t saying a word, lest her wrath turn to him.

Then, Yuzu asked about meeting Zangetsu, declaring them ‘Zan-nii’ and ‘Zan-jii’ after they appeared.

Neither spirit knew what to make of that, or Karin’s threat about looking after him. Thankfully, the pair had enough sense to not protest when Yuzu insisted on serving them dinner. Which led to another surprise of zanpakutou spirits being capable of eating.

Turning back to Ishida, he pulled out the family tree. “See? We share a great grandmother, and Mom was supposed to marry your Dad.”

Keigo looked more disturbed than Ishida at this. “I think I broke my brain picturing Ichigo acting like Ishida…”

“Orange does not work with my skin tone.” Ishida snapped, examining the photo that showed his father with the woman he knew was Kurosaki Masaki.

He had seen the infamous memorial poster, after all.

“Wait, so how’d you learn all of this? Cuz you just found out, right?” Tatsuki asked.

“Yeah, about that…” Ichigo just watched his friends’ faces as he related his encounters with his zanpakutou spirits the day before.

Tatsuki, Keigo, and Mizuiro were taking it in stride, not knowing much about Shinigami and zanpakutou. Ishida and Chad were a little more stunned, while Inoue’s eyes were worried, even as the rest of her face was ‘stunned’. “But Grandfather never told me anything about this Quincy King!” Ishida protested when Ichigo was finished. “It’s not like Ryuuken will tell me anything about that…”

“I can’t say if Mom would have told me and the twins if she lived, or if we’d have been trained. I haven’t taken a very close look at the books, so there might be something in one of them.” Ichigo shrugged. “Cuz you weren’t very old when he died, right? It might have been something that he was going to tell you when you were older.”

Ishida made a noise of vague acknowledgement, beginning to plot how to try and get answers out of his father. “Wait…what day did your mother die?” He asked, something striking him.

“June Seventeenth. Eight years ago this next June. Why?” Ichigo replied.

“That’s the same day my own mother, Kanae, collapsed. She…was in a coma for three months before she died.” Ishida carefully revealed. “Was…”

“…it was a Hollow. Grand Fisher. It has a lure that it can disguise like a person, and it eats people that can see the lure. Going off of what Zangetsu-Ossan said, the timing was bad luck.” Ichigo poked his bento with his chopsticks, mechanically eating like he had the last seventeen months.

The group was quiet. “So…I guess we’ll get to hear that thing shrieking in class? Again?” Tatsuki asked, pointing at the combat pass.

“I guess so…”

* * *

Somehow, Ichigo found himself alone with Inoue after school, in a reasonably deserted area of the campus. “Ano…Kurosaki-kun…” She trailed off, poking her fingers together and not looking at him. “That one time…during…”

Ichigo could guess what she meant. The two of them and Ishida hadn’t related to anyone else (as far as he knew) about what happened after Ulquiorra blew a hole in his chest. Ichigo was pretty sure that it was something only the three of them knew.

Nor had it ever been discussed by them, either. There hadn’t been time, and when there had been time…Ichigo frankly hadn’t cared, too busy trying to pretend that he was alright with his powerlessness.

“_**What happened was more because there wasn’t anyone in charge.**_” The pair started at the voice, as Zangetsu appeared.

Ichigo couldn’t avoid noting how uncomfortable Zangetsu looked. “_**Bein’ in Hueco Mundo gave me power, but Ichigo’s will to not let me out was stronger. The only thing stronger than that was his will to protect you. So…our-his-body was kinda like a computer; it could only do what it was ‘programed’ to do. And given the dominant energy was Hollow, the best way to achieve that was to make Ulquiorra no longer exist. The world shrunk down to ‘me’, ‘Inoue’, and ‘enemy’.**_”

Ichigo was vaguely amused at how his zanpakutou was acting, even as the rest of him kept checking Inoue for her reaction. She looked thoughtful. “Thank you for telling me. Is it alright if I call you Zangetsu-kun?” She thanked him with a slight smile.

“_**…yeah?**_” Zangetsu looked and felt stunned as Inoue’s expression switched to her default cheerfulness. “I’ve got to get to work. I’ll see both of you tomorrow, Kurosaki-kun, Zangetsu-kun!” She bade them both goodbye as she darted off.

“_**Ah…**_” Zangetsu turned to Ichigo, unsure. “**_What just happened?_**”

“I…don’t really know either.” Ichigo admitted. “I just know Inoue had been freaked out by whatever my body had been doing when I was out of it.”

“**_You know, there was a sun in your end of the sky before I came out._**” Zangetsu suddenly commented.

“So?” Ichigo questioned, not sure of the point.

“_**From what I remember, and what Ossan said, the last time there was a sun visible was whenever you were with Masaki-san.**_” Zangetsu revealed with a sidelong look.

For reasons he couldn’t explain, Ichigo found himself blushing. “That doesn’t mean anything!” He protested as Zangetsu faded away, smirking.

* * *

Rukia found herself humming to herself as she changed out of her shihakushou and into training clothes. Nii-sama had pointed something out that had left her kicking herself for her denseness.

First, the Kuchiki manor had a private Senkaimon, one of the privileges of being one of the Four Great Clans.

Second, its activities were not monitored the way the official one was.

Third, as long as she wasn’t in uniform and was off duty it really didn’t matter what she did with her time.

“I could have been checking up on Ichigo for months!” She grumbled to herself. True, Urahara would likely have a gigai ready for her to use, but it was a relief to wear real colors as ‘herself’ all the same.

Sliding Sode no Shirayuki into her obi, she headed for the Kuchiki Senkaimon.

* * *

The Kuchiki Senkaimon opened up on Urahara’s training lair, at ground level. Rukia could feel Urahara and Ichigo’s father (and hadn’t that explained a lot, once she learned who he really was), plus Ichigo and…

“Rukia? What are you doing here?”

Looking up, she saw Ichigo sitting on top of one of the large boulders. “I’m visiting. Embarrassingly, I completely forgot about the private Kuchiki Senkaimon. I could have been visiting this past year and a half when I was off-duty!” She complained, leaping up to join him.

“I just figured you had too much to do. Or I just couldn’t see you and no one told me otherwise.” Ichigo said with a shrug. “So your family has its own Senkaimon?”

“I did have a lot to do, since I was studying for the fukutaichou exam and taking up those duties. But I wasn’t that busy; the problem is filling out requests for ‘nonessential’ visits. Right now I think a three month turnaround is the average.” Rukia conceded. “Nii-sama reminded me.”

“…I suddenly have visions of Byakuya stalking me ‘unseen’.” Ichigo shivered.

“Don’t be silly; Nii-sama wouldn’t be stalking you himself. He’d send someone else to do it for him.” She corrected him.

“Like that’s much better.” Ichigo scratched the back of his head. “So Byakuya finally let you get promoted?”

“Yup! I’m the first unseated officer to pass the fukutaichou exam in five centuries, and the highest passing score in the last three.” Rukia perked up. “Ukitake-taichou told me that Kaien-dono had been planning to take the taichou exam once I was ready to take over his position, so he’s been waiting for Nii-sama to give his permission. Though I told Nii-sama that I was taking it with or without his permission.”

She squinted her eyes at the dust cloud in the distance. “Who is that fighting Urahara? It feels similar to you, but it also reminds me of training with Sode no Shirayuki and that time I saw Hirako-taichou using his mask…”

“Yeah…turns out that, like everything with me, I can’t even have a normal Inner Hollow.” Ichigo leaned back. “Haven’t drowned yet Goat Face?”

Looking behind them, she jumped when she saw Urahara’s healing hot spring back there, with Ichigo’s father looking the most battered she’d ever seen him.

Even after seeing him post wake up attack after going through a window.

“Your concern for my welfare is touching.” Kurosaki-sensei said drily, dunking his head in.

“Nah, Yuzu will kill me first if you’re too battered for her punishment.”

Rukia could practically feel the question marks floating around her as they turned back around. “Is this something you’re comfortable telling me?” She asked.

“As long as you’re comfortable hearing it.” He retorted. “It’s related to how Dad had been powerless nearly my whole life.”

“Ichigo, at this point you could tell me your mother’s a Quincy and related to Ishida and it wouldn’t faze me.” At least, she thought it wouldn’t, until his answering silence confirmed it. “For real?! I was just throwing out something random!!!”

“Yup; until me and my sisters the Kurosaki were Quincy as far back as the family records say. Mom was supposed to marry Ishida’s dad, since they were both pureblood Quincy. The two of us share a great-grandmother. The rest involved Aizen, no surprise.” Ichigo confirmed, watching the dust cloud draw a little closer.

“Another one of his weird experiments?” She asked sympathetically.

“Yeah. He made an arrancar completely out of Shinigami souls and let it out to play in Naruki City. When Oyaji ran into it, and Mom intervened in their fight. It turns out that the Quincy have a technique that’s sort of similar to a Hollow’s hierro, so she let it bite her so she could get a head shot. Oyaji pushed her away from its self-detonation explosion, but part of its purpose was to infect a Shinigami and merge with their zanpakutou.” Ichigo started.

“So why go after a Quincy?” She asked, confused.

“It wasn’t a matter of Shinigami versus Quincy, it was male versus female. Subduing a powerful Shinigami and their zanpakutou would take a lot of effort, but attaching to an untrained Shinigami and merging with their ‘blank’ zanpakutou spirit wouldn’t take that much. The problem is that Quincy have no resistance to Hollow energy. Instead of turning into Hollows, their souls self-destruct.” He continued.

She paled. “Soul Suicide?! No wonder Quincy arrows destroy Hollows! It’s not a matter of vengeance, but a matter of survival!”

He nodded. “Urahara-san had a solution: binding a Shinigami’s power to Mom’s soul with reishi strings, sealing the Hollow and confining the Shinigami to a gigai, powerless. It was supposed to be until Mom died or it left her, but the binding stayed when the Hollow ‘moved house’. Into me.”

“So that explains why Kurosaki-sensei was powerless, but you have Bankai or something similar…” Rukia prodded.

“Quincy are all descended from one guy; Yhwach. Every Quincy has a piece of his soul inside of them—no I don’t know how it works—and what I thought was my zanpakutou spirit is in fact the embodiment of the Quincy stuff I inherited from Mom. Zangetsu said the seal broke some when I got my power back the first time, but he wasn’t properly ‘awake’ until the fight with your brother. Except he didn’t know what he was, and once he did know…” Ichigo shrugged.

“**_You know this idiot has no sense of self-preservation._**” Zangetsu commented to Rukia when he appeared in what she noted was shunpo, not sonido.

“I noticed, when he let a stranger stab him in the heart on a hope and a prayer.” She said drily. “So, did beating up Urahara get boring?”

“**_Bastard’s been holding out on us. Or he’s been training. Think I only got him a few times, but this was more about messin’ with him._**” The zanpakutou spirit/inner hollow admitted. “_**Goat Bastard still alive?**_”

“Of course. Yuzu would kill us if we killed him before she got to him. Or worse; she could do The Look.” Ichigo shuddered.

“’The Look’?” Rukia and Zangetsu exchanged a baffled look.

“The Look cannot be described, only experienced. But with her mood swings…” Shaking his head, he changed the subject. “When I told the girls about Mom, I started by asking what they already knew. And Yuzu shocked me.”

“How?”

“She knew you were in the closet.” Ichigo revealed.

“What.” Rukia said flatly. “How…”

“She didn’t say how, but she pointed out that the futon you were using in there was always clean. And she said she’d started keeping the things you tended to borrow separate for you. But that’s nothing compared to what else she knew.” Ichigo mentally braced himself. “She. Knew. About. Kon. In. His. Plushy.”

Leaping up, Zangetsu carefully poked Rukia, who didn’t seem to be breathing. “Ichigo…”

“Yeah?”

“Are you telling me that everything she did with Kon’s plushie, when he was in it, was on purpose?” Rukia felt a chill go down her spine that had nothing to do with her ice and snow zanpakutou. “How did I not realize she was this terrifying?!”

“Now she’s actually in puberty. So, she’s not hiding it so much.” Ichigo explained. “Or I’m just actually noticing it now, out of my sulking.”

Rukia raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t much like Ichigo to admit to that. “Do you know what Urahara-san told everyone when he came to you with the sword?” He asked quietly.

“Not…the exact details.” She admitted. “Just that he had found a way for one Shinigami to restore your power, since based on his data it would take at least twenty captains’ and/or lieutenants’ worth of power. I was shocked when Yamamoto-soutaichou ordered me to be the one wielding the sword; I would have fought for that regardless. But that was pretty much right before I arrived the other day.”

Ichigo was quiet as Zangetsu sat behind him, holding (!) him. “I don’t know if it’s because I have Shinigami, Hollow, and Quincy in me, or if it was a side effect of…my soul…had started disintegrating. Without my power.”

Rukia felt the world stop. She only vaguely heard him say…something…about how nothing felt right, even when he was alone and being honest with himself about it. That he had thought it was because he wasn’t adjusting nearly as well as he was pretending to. “…worst part about what happened. I finally felt like myself, only for it to be taken away again…”

Without thinking, Rukia hugged him, thankfully not to the ire of Zangetsu, whom she also grabbed. “I’m positive that if Urahara had told the captains about that, Ukitake-taichou would have told me. Nii-sama would have told me. Something like that…” Ichigo and Zangetsu didn’t move as she started crying. “It’s so rare, but the stories, about what happens to someone as their soul falls apart…”

Carefully, Ichigo hugged her back. “Aizen should not have been worth that. And if through some insanity that no one, not even your zanpakutou spirits, can stop you from doing that again, I will drag every scrap of your soul back together and murder you myself. Am I perfectly clear?” She informed him as she let the hug end, glaring even as she wiped her eyes.

“**_Ossan and I will help, after you kick our asses for being that stupid again._**” Zangetsu vowed, before vanishing.

“How long can you hold him out here?” She asked.

“I don’t think there is a limit. When I went to my Inner World and found him, I hauled him out on instinct, and kept him out through to the morning. He said that there isn’t a time limit so long as the Shinigami has enough power, but that it’s not done, the zanpakutou spirit coming out like that?” Ichigo shrugged. “Then again, we just took a shower and went to bed, and slept all night.”

Despite knowing the sheer…logic-breaking world Ichigo imposed on everyone else, Rukia still nearly fell off the rock. “A shower?” Even having just interacted with the spirit, she still couldn’t picture it.

“Apparently it rains in my inner world when I’m in a bad mood, and since I thought he was just my inner Hollow, he was stuck in one corner of it. Where it was always raining. And he’s been in the rain there ever since my last fight with Ulquiorra, aside from…y’know.” Ichigo hopped down. “He looked and felt more like a half-drowned cat. Even more so after I hauled him out and he immediately started shivering.”

“I still can’t picture it.” Rukia admitted bluntly, hopping down herself. “Then again, I haven’t ever thought about interactions like that.”

“Zangetsu-Ossan—we both agreed he’s as much Zangetsu as the ‘real’ one—said that my soul could only recover properly with a close bond with my zanpakutou. I’d had my suspicions, once I had time to sit and think about everything, but I never expected…” Ichigo shook his head. “So do you have any plans?”

“I want a chance to spar with you; we’ve never had the chance to.” Rukia answered.

“As long as you’re prepared to get tossed all over this place.” Ichigo remarked with a smirk, drawing his zanpakutou.

“Please; you’ll be the one tossed all over the place.” Rukia countered, drawing Sode no Shirayuki.

Neither of them could contain their grins as they started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to write up the confrontation with Ossan and revealing things to the others.

**Author's Note:**

> I am a horrible, horrible person who needs to not read new things and get ideas because of those new things but I'll continue to do so anyway.


End file.
